Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize