the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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