I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
