in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
