The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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