Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the day after is always just damage control
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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