Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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