Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize