So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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