You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
