I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize