i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
why is half of my head shaved?
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