i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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