theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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