were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He did a backflip because drugs
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
