Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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