Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
