haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
