i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
