My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
