New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize