whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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