I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
