I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize