I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
