D3 body, D1 cock
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
