She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
