When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
