Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
