I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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