Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Randomize
