is your mom at the bar?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
