Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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