Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
time to smoke my breakfast
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
