I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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