your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
