this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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