This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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