I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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