You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
