I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
