Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
