There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
