Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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