I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
