pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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