like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
