this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
