when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If I die, sorry about rent.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
