booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
