Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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