you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
