God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
