what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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