Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
