i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
