have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
