I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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