Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize