Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
