Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
dude. I can hear the air.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize