i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize