we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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