Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
