How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
