when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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