For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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