PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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