...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
