dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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