Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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