Heybabeimwearingurpanties
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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