Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
